by Kimberly A. Cook (Twitter@ WarriorTales)
Rant Alert: Does anyone remember volunteering to be our own tech support? At what point in this global digital age did some engineering genius decide us lay folk consumers not only knew enough to fix our own electronic products, but that we wanted to? Not me, I just want the darn things to work.
Kept getting calls from my cable provider that I needed to change out my modem. They said I needed to upgrade so I could get faster speeds and more fabulous things. I can barely use the basic package of channels as it is. If it wasn’t for the PAC-12 and NFL Channels, I’d be on budget cable because all I need to survive is HGTV, Hallmark, Food Network, Animal Planet and the Weather Channel. I don’t really NEED new channels or quicker download speeds; I don’t surf that fast.
But they made it sound like the universe would explode if I didn’t do it soon, but I ignored the phone calls. Then one day while logging onto my computer a whole series of cable company messages flashed on the screen about how I must get the new modem before a swarm of locusts attack my computer. Really? You’re now intruding on my computer since I have a tv, phone, Internet “bundle?”
Fine! I logged onto the web site and they were sending me my amazing, free new modem. It arrived like the next day on my front porch, complete with simple instructions to install myself. Why do I have to do their work?
The “simple” instructions are a tad confusing since I also maintain my own router due to paranoia. Mix my military background with my imagination and you can’t convince me big brother cable isn’t trying to use my home as a W-Fi hot spot or the next landing zone for the colonization teams from Tron. While I’m paying the electric bill for it all to boot.
The fabo new modem is still sitting in its box. I will get to it when I’m ready. It’s personal. The day they put those self scan check out machines in my grocery store I drew the line in the sand. I tried it one time and the machine kept yelling at me about moving my plastic bag at the wrong time and that was it.
Now I snub those self scan check out lines, I push my cart right over and wait in line for a human checker. I get to read the gossip magazine covers, scan for new snacks and candies and find out what my fellow shoppers are buying. It’s a bonding experience with a real person talking to me without yelling instructions. And I don’t even have to touch my bags, they pack my groceries too. Simple is best. Hear that cable companies?
You can’t convince me we aren’t close to designer pick only your fav channels packages or else everyone will dump cable and head to Amazon video. Somehow I’m betting Amazon wouldn’t make me install my own modem; they’re getting delivery drones! Take back your channels America!